For us
by mutemwija
Summary: When Kaiba has an accident he wanders around in spirit form, unable to interact with anyone. Except for Mokuba who reveals himself to be his guardian angel that came to lead him to the next world. Kaiba wants to join his brother in the afterlife as soon as possible... but is there really nothing left for him that is worth fighting for? (Prideshipping)


When I had the idea for this story I initially planned on making it a part of Pridecember but couldn't fit it to any of my missing prompts. I didn't want to let go of the idea though and decided to write it as a One Shot for itself. It's a little AUish and Atem stayed/has his own body and Mokuba died due to a disease (Yes, I know and I'm sorry!), but everything else sticks to canon or becomes clear when you read it (if you read it)^^

Anyway enough words - enjoy the story and I'd love to hear what you think about it :D

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For us

It was so ridiculous _._

Kaiba had no idea how long he'd been in this state already and didn't even how he'd ended up in this mess. The last that he knew was that he had left Kaiba Corp in the evening, for once not asking Isono to drive him because he wanted to stop by Mokuba's place, that he had left when it started to pour and that he had driven his car through the storm. But he had obviously never made it home because when he had woken up he had found his body in an ICU and his _spirit_ existed in a layer between the this world and the one beyond.

He was stuck, neither alive nor dead, wandering around like a damn ghost, not knowing what to do, unable to interact with anyone and trapped in this hospital. It had taken him a few moments to figure things out and then suddenly Mokuba had appeared before him. At first Kaiba was shocked and didn't understand how this was possible but his initial surprise at seeing his beloved little brother was soon replaced by the relief and happiness that beside everything that had happened he appeared to be safe and sound. He had looked just like Kaiba remembered him with his messy hair, dark eyes and rascal smile and he was glad to have him back – even in this way. But Mokuba wasn't simply here to keep him company.

"I'm here to guide you." Mokuba had simply said and Kaiba understood that Mokuba would be his _guardian angel_ , the one who'd guide him to kingdom come. "But it's your decision." He had said with such earnestness in his tone and face Kaiba hadn't seen on him before. "Whether you want to stay here or come with me."

Kaiba had almost laughed at these words. Ever since this horrible incident he was just as dead inside as Mokuba was on the outside. He didn't care if he was working or sleeping, eating or starving, alive or dead and he would have left immediately but the doctors had obviously given their best to keep him alive a little longer.

Kaiba had rolled his eyes, had groaned and thrown a temper tantrum at the nurse who adjusted his medication but nothing helped.

For three days now he was caught in this room where his body was and his ghost-like state and it was wearing him out. Waiting like that was absolutely boring. The only person who came by except for the doctors or nurses was Isono. He would sit on the chair next to Kaiba's bed and tell him how the business went, what was happening in the world and how his family was doing. Kaiba had listened to everything although he really didn't care for the stupid stories about the man's family but still he felt like he owed him at least that – a last goodbye to his most honored and loyal employee.

After Isono had left on the fourth day and Kaiba was alone again, he leans against the wall next to his bed and wonders just _how long_ this would continue like this when Mokuba suddenly appears again "You're still here." He says Kaiba sighs, too proud to ask if he's now able and allowed to go to the next world. Instead of leading him away though Mokuba teases him: "No one came to see you, huh."

Kaiba shrugs. "I don't care."

"But you had hoped someone would." His brother insists in his usual bold way and Kaiba rolls his eyes. "I was there and saw it, remember? How you actually developed a… _friendship_ with Yûgi before I…"

" _Atem._ " Kaiba corrects just in time to prevent Mokuba from saying the last word and he curses softly under his breath when he sees Mokuba's smirk.

"Okay, _Atem._ You met with him regularly. Not just to duel him but to spent time with him and be close to him. You enjoyed his company, niisama and you… _like him_." He almost sings the last two words but when Kaiba doesn't answer, Mokuba blinks at him surprised. "You don't even argue with me on that?"

"Why should I?" Kaiba shrugs again, eyes fixed on his still body on the bed. "It was like that until… things changed and now it's too late. You're gone and I'll soon be gone too and he won't notice a difference."

"But you would have wanted to stay with him longer." It's more a statement than a question and Kaiba shoves his hands into his pockets.

"It doesn't matter anymore and… neither he now I will be disappointed that way."

"You always say that, niisama."

"Because it's true." Kaiba answers a little louder than he intended and then shoots his little brother a look. "I trusted _you_. And you're gone."

"I am. But that wasn't your fault and deep down you know that." Although Kaiba knows that Mokuba meant that as consolation Kaiba can't help but take it as pity.

"No, it was that damn disease that took you away from me." He grits out and suddenly becomes angry at him. "But why didn't you tell me earlier how you felt? Why did you hide it from me?"

Mokuba keeps silent for a while, regret palpable in his eyes and Kaiba is almost unable to look at him any longer. "You can't do _everything_ right, niisama."

"Of course you can."

It's Mokuba's turn to groan now. "Yeah, that's exactly what I thought and look where I am now!" Kaiba turns around at those words, stares out the window and clenches his fists so tight he almost cuts the skin with his nails. "But niisama now you're the one who betrays those around you, those _dear_ to you!"

"I'm not betraying anyone! Or do you see someone here?" Kaiba shouts and gestures through the room when his eyes fall on the window to the hallway and he stops dead in his tracks. He can't believe what he sees, _who_ he sees standing there, staring at his body on the bed and for a moment he thinks that it's just a trick, a mirage of some sorts. But when the door opens with a soft squeak and the doctor steps into his room slowly, followed by _him_ he _knows_ it's real and his heart starts to hammer in his chest.

" _Atem_ …" His name falls from his lips like a relieved, almost desperate but still bewildered call, as if he tries to beckon the boy closer to him and he realizes that _he_ was the one he had wanted to see all this time, the reason why he couldn't go with Mokuba.

Atem stands in the door, fidgets with his fingers and looks nervous at Kaiba's body obviously feeling very uncomfortable. Kaiba sees dark shadows under his usually so bright and determined eyes and wonders if he only looks so pale because of the neon light in the room.

"Talk with him." The doctor says with a soothing tone and places a hand on Atem's shoulder. "Tell him anything you want."

"But can he hear me?" He asks with a pressed, strained voice that send shivers through Kaiba's body just like it always did and he wanted to scream at him that _yes_ he did hear him and that he wanted to hear more of his voice but he kept his mouth shut tightly.

The doctor smiles reassuringly at Atem. "Who knows?" He says, closes the door behind him and just like that Atem is alone with him.

Kaiba stares expectantly at him, awaiting his next move almost impatiently when he feels Mokuba tugging at his sleeve.

"It's time." He grabs his hand and Kaiba knows what he means. Earlier he would have left on the spot but now that Atem is here he found himself unable to move one muscle. He couldn't go without knowing why Atem came here, what he would say to him. He needed to know and for that he needed to stay a little longer.

"Just one more moment…" He declared and stares daggers into Atem as he waits for his rival to open his mouth and say something

Atem just stands there, looks out of the window, right through Kaiba's spirit form and doesn't say a word for a very long while.

"What can I even tell you…?" He starts slowly but pauses again presumably because he realizes how cracked his voice sounds and he swallows thickly before he continues. "I would have visited you earlier but… I didn't know what had happened until yesterday. I went to Kaiba Corp in my lunch break to ask if you wanted to join me… when Isono told me. He somehow managed to keep things out of the news, probably to… prevent an upheaval of sorts. When I knew I… wanted to come right away then but I had to get back to work and afterwards visiting hours were over. And earlier today it was really busy in the shop. Grandpa… is sick and Yûgi was in college in the morning so I had to wait for him to come back and manage the shop and everything else on… my own…" Those last two words are almost inaudible for Kaiba and he stares at how Atem's jaw clenches tightly before he closes his eyes and lowers his head. He breathes in shakily, fists clenched as tightly as his jaw and Kaiba realizes that he's fighting back tears. Almost instinctively he reaches out for him, although knowing that he can't touch him in his state and so he's glad when Atem looks at him again. His eyes are wet with tears dreading to spill from them as he slowly moves closer to the bed and sits down on the chair next to it.

For an agonizing long moment he just stares at the wall, then tears his gaze to the ceiling and lets it wander through the room, looking everywhere but at Kaiba's body on the bed and the breath he drew in before leaves him just as shaky.

"Why should I even tell you that? You didn't care for what I wanted to tell you the whole time…Why should you… care now?"

Kaiba straightens his back at those words and the devastated look in Atem's face. Never before had he seen him like that and he didn't know how to handle it. This was the first time since these four days that he was glad to be in this state where people didn't know he was there. He was glad Atem didn't know he was here, glad he didn't have to hold his gaze like that.

But… still… he wanted nothing more than feel Atem's eyes on him and the words fell from his lips before he could think about them.

"Look at me." He hears himself whisper, a soft sort of longing in his voice and his grip on Mokuba's hand loosens slightly. "Look at me, Atem."

At first nothing happened but then Atem moves his head towards him slowly and finally looks at him with an unsettling mixture of reproach, suppressed anger, anxiety and longing. Kaiba can't look anywhere else than into those eyes and he listens intently to Atem's next words.

"In the last months since that terrible night you always… let me run into a brick wall and left me aside like it was nothing when… when all I wanted was to help you. With your work… with your life, with... your grief." Kaiba drops his gaze and now clenches his jaw just as Atem had done a few moments before. "It hurt so much to see you like this and I felt so awful when you pushed me aside every damn time I tried to get near you and melt the ice around you like… like my concern, like _I_ meant nothing to you. I know you don't want pity and I hope you know that I really didn't want to pity you, Kaiba. I just wanted… to be there for you. And that is not the same."

Atem's eyes leave Kaiba again and he suddenly feels so exposed, so cold and _alone_ that his body trembles slightly and he whispers again. "Atem, please…"

"Now that's what you get for keeping everything to yourself." Atem suddenly grits out angrily and reproachful, making Kaiba stop dead in his tracks for the second time since he arrived.

 _Of course._

He knew it. Everyone saw it like that and of course _Atem_ wasn't any different after all. He should have known.

But somehow despite those words Atem doesn't look angry or accusatory anymore. There's a deep sadness in his eyes and a hint of regret too that makes Kaiba uncomfortable and now he doesn't want to look at him anymore. He doesn't want to listen to him and he doesn't want to be here anymore. He wants to go, to leave and never come back, like this was the final blow that turned his life to zero.

"He's right." Kaiba says and is relieved that he doesn't sound defeated but honest and firm.

"That doesn't matter anymore now." Mokuba chides in beside him and grabs his hand. Kaiba hadn't even realized that he'd let go of it. "Come on, niisama. It's time."

Kaiba nods shortly, but determined grabs his brother's hand and turns to leave without casting a last look at Atem. It was better that way just like he had said.

"You can't just leave like that now, you hear me?" Atem screams suddenly and Kaiba turns around just as abruptly, right on time to see him wipe his left cheek angrily. "I'm your friend so why won't you talk to me anymore?"

This word has Kaiba swallowing hard. Nothing has ever been more wrong than this word to describe their relationship in the last months and Atem knows that just as well as he. "What did I do wrong that you leave me out like this? Can you imagine… how much that hurts?" Atem blinks and when the tears finally roll down his cheeks, Kaiba is almost mesmerized by them, again unable to look anywhere else but at Atem's face and the countless emotions reflected in his eyes. "Kaiba, I… I need you. As a friend, as… a partner. I want us to get out of this again, you and me, _together_. We've become a team, haven't we?" Kaiba sees how Atem grabs his hand and to his surprise he really _can_ _feel_ the gentle touch on his skin. He stares between his left hand and Atem unable to figure out how it's possible for him to feel his hand on his.

"Niisama?" Mokuba asks and Kaiba looks at him and sees how confused he is, how hopeful that his brother will join him but the feeling of Atem's touch makes his head dizzy and he almost loses himself in this simple touch when Atem speaks up again.

"We _belong_ together..." He smiles meekly at him and Kaiba heart jumps at the sight. "Don't you think so too, Seto?"

Kaiba feels as if he was punched in the guts and he gasps for air when Atem says his name so casually. Why did his name on Atem's lips sound so… familiar, so comfortable and _right_? His head starts to spin and it makes him feel so nauseous that he leans into Atem's touch in an attempt to keep him stable.

"Niisama?" Mokuba asks again, softly tugging at his hand and Kaiba realizes with a start that he could have hold onto him too but he had chosen Atem without thinking twice. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath to try and clear his head.

"I know what it's like to miss the ones you love... I know that your heart is broken... I know you're not the same without your brother and god I _know_ you miss him but… please don't leave me here alone, Seto." Atem pleads once more and Kaiba doesn't need to look at him since the tightening of his grip on his hand told him all he needed to know. "Giving up so easily, before even trying to fight back is not like you at all and you _know_ it."

The breath Kaiba drew in leaves him in a huff and then a bitter laugh follows.

Was he really running away? He just wanted to be with his brother again. And if he stayed... would Atem stay with him? He certainly looked like it would be difficult to get rid of him. Kaiba had tried to already, when he had realized how close they'd become. But Atem kept visiting him, continued with his calls and random messages and made sure he never left Kaiba's thought for too long as if he _really_ wanted to become a part of his life, as if he wanted to prove something to Kaiba _and_ to himself. Kaiba hadn't known what and hadn't understood why he went to such lengths and he had let him because it was interesting to watch him. But somewhere along the way he must have lost sight of his destination because when Atem had entered this room and laid his soul bare before him, Kaiba had finally understood what he wanted. And he had realized that he was ready to try and go this way with him.

Once again Atem was challenging him, this time in the cruelest of ways and Kaiba knew now that he had no chance against him. Not in this particular game they were playing right now.

Laughing softly, he runs a hand over his face and shakes his head, slowly making up his mind. "I accept." He murmurs and it's somewhat of a surprise for him but he's consent to it more than he would have expected. He slowly opens his eyes and a smile hushes over his lips when his gaze falls on him again. _Just a little longer,_ he thinks and rolls his hand sincerely hoping that it would reach Atem before he turns to his brother again.

He's so surprised to see Mokuba smiling brightly that he forgets what he wanted to say for a moment. "I'm glad, niisama. It's all I wanted for you."

Kaiba stares at him for a while, slowly starting to connect the dots in his head and then he smiles at his young but wise brother. The words he's about to say lay heavy on his tongue but he forces them over his lips, knowing that he has to choose the future over the past one more time. "Goodbye, Mokuba. It was good to see you again."

"It really was." Mokuba nods, smile still plastered on his face. Then he turns and starts to walk away and Kaiba fights the urge to grab his collar and hold him back but as if sensing that Makuba stops shortly again and grins over his shoulder at his beloved brother. "Promise me that you'll be an old geezer the next time we see each other."

A small chuckle leaves Seto and he nods at Mokuba a last time. "I promise, little brother."

And then he turns to look at Atem because he can't bear to watch his brother go and instead concentrates on the lingering touch on his hand and Atem's muttered words that reach his ears and that had woke him up in more ways than one. He smiles at nods to himself before he closes his eyes.

Everything around him turns black for a moment, before the darkness gives way to blinding light. He blinks a few times until his eyes have adapted and he's able to make out his surroundings, and Atem's head hovering above him.

"Kaiba?" Seto is a little disappointed that Atem didn't call him _Seto_ again, but he blinks and moves his head a little to show him that he heard him. He's rewarded with a wide, relieved smile. "Hey." Atem greets him and Kaiba moves his hand softly against Atem's just like he had wanted to do the moment Atem had touched him. "You came back."

Kaiba nods, glad to feel that Atem laces his fingers with his and he promises him silently to tell him the truth as soon as he can.

 _For us._


End file.
